Hailing from Corny, Kansas and currently residing in "Northern" New Jersey, Nyx bills herself as someone who "wants to help the helpless and protect the innocent. Uplift humanity though good acts. Prevent people from having difficult times and help people get through difficult times when she can’t. " Well isn't that sweet. It's too bad she has to make those same people suffer by looking at her horrid taste in 'uniforms'. What not to wear?
THIS.The first time I saw this picture I had to slap myself because she wasn't close enough for me to smack the shit out of her for even thinking she or any living human could pull this look off. I know 'Jersey is well known for being the garbage dump of world, but a landfill still would have been a better place to shop than Hot Topic. Allow me to go fetch a hammer so I can break this atrocity down piece by horrid piece.
Fishnet top: Didn't these go OUT of style, like, twelve years ago? Seeing as the majority of the RLSH either retire or get SHOT you'd think she'd have the intelligence to wear something a bit more purposeful. Of course, you'd be wrong because displaying her pasty, possibly blood-constricted TITS is more important than buying some hobo-stab-insurance. Speaking of Nyx's best assets...
$15 Hot Topic brand bra: Jeeze, those things must be cutting the circulation off to get brain. If I'm not mistaken young ladies that walk around showing off their goods like this are often called SLUTS, and cheap ones at that. I guess she has to get Phantom Zero to take off his mask somehow.
Matching stripped arm-warmers and stockings: Okay, she was able to at least pick the same color and style which tells me she isn't completely RETARDED, however wearing stripped anything on both your arms and legs makes you look like a court-jester. So take the pantyhose off your hands, please.
Aluminum and fake-leather studded bracelets: Following the whole 'goth' thing I'm guessing, Nyx at some point thought it was a good idea to include some cheap-ass-next-to-the-check-out bracelets. These haven't looked good on anyone ever. E-V-E-R!
Poorly constructed Lip Service/Tripp laced corset: Correct me if I'm wrong (which I never am), but aren't corsets made to tighten the frame and make someone look LESS fat? Y'know, instead of being loosely worn with a buckle of fat poking out? I think it's time someone started eating Subway Fresh!
Lip Service/Tripp skirt with pointless studs and chains: Oooo, spooooky! Once again, aren't crime-fighters suppose wear things to match their environment? I guess it works if you're trying to blend in with HOOKERS, though.
Ghastly Heels: I don't even know where to start with these god-awful things. They look like a businessman's dress-shoes and his secretary's heels had an affair, gave birth to a cross-breed-shoe-child and then attempted to ABORT it. Why do they have laces? What purpose do these heels serve for fighting crime? Is someone just playing a sick joke on me by making this exist?
And finally, her mask: I'd wear one too if I dressed like that.
So the conclusion I've come to based on this poor, deluded girl's fashion IQ being a single digit is that she absolutely zero use in any form of crime-fighting unless it includes memorizing criminals with her ghostly white lumps and giving her 'patrol-partners' awkward boners. Sorry Nyx, you lost the game. Look on the bright-side, though; At least it can't get any worse.
Never mind.
-L.L. <3
Fishnet top: Didn't these go OUT of style, like, twelve years ago? Seeing as the majority of the RLSH either retire or get SHOT you'd think she'd have the intelligence to wear something a bit more purposeful. Of course, you'd be wrong because displaying her pasty, possibly blood-constricted TITS is more important than buying some hobo-stab-insurance. Speaking of Nyx's best assets...
$15 Hot Topic brand bra: Jeeze, those things must be cutting the circulation off to get brain. If I'm not mistaken young ladies that walk around showing off their goods like this are often called SLUTS, and cheap ones at that. I guess she has to get Phantom Zero to take off his mask somehow.
Matching stripped arm-warmers and stockings: Okay, she was able to at least pick the same color and style which tells me she isn't completely RETARDED, however wearing stripped anything on both your arms and legs makes you look like a court-jester. So take the pantyhose off your hands, please.
Aluminum and fake-leather studded bracelets: Following the whole 'goth' thing I'm guessing, Nyx at some point thought it was a good idea to include some cheap-ass-next-to-the-check-out bracelets. These haven't looked good on anyone ever. E-V-E-R!
Poorly constructed Lip Service/Tripp laced corset: Correct me if I'm wrong (which I never am), but aren't corsets made to tighten the frame and make someone look LESS fat? Y'know, instead of being loosely worn with a buckle of fat poking out? I think it's time someone started eating Subway Fresh!
Lip Service/Tripp skirt with pointless studs and chains: Oooo, spooooky! Once again, aren't crime-fighters suppose wear things to match their environment? I guess it works if you're trying to blend in with HOOKERS, though.
Ghastly Heels: I don't even know where to start with these god-awful things. They look like a businessman's dress-shoes and his secretary's heels had an affair, gave birth to a cross-breed-shoe-child and then attempted to ABORT it. Why do they have laces? What purpose do these heels serve for fighting crime? Is someone just playing a sick joke on me by making this exist?
And finally, her mask: I'd wear one too if I dressed like that.
So the conclusion I've come to based on this poor, deluded girl's fashion IQ being a single digit is that she absolutely zero use in any form of crime-fighting unless it includes memorizing criminals with her ghostly white lumps and giving her 'patrol-partners' awkward boners. Sorry Nyx, you lost the game. Look on the bright-side, though; At least it can't get any worse.
Never mind.-L.L. <3
lawl. agreed. but hey shes no agent mixsae. thank god. id have to possibly burn my eyes out if i saw her in what Nyx is wearing
ReplyDeleteWould you believe that what put Agent Mixsae on the map was the flamewar that started with me critiquing Nyx?
ReplyDeletehttp://codenameberyllium.blogspot.com/2009/11/myspace-of-horrors.html
We needed a thorough treatise on the fug that is this outfit. I can only critique other women so much before I get accused of jealousy, and I have that nagging voice at the back of my head that says "would you have done any different if when you were 16 you had comic book nerds cheering YOU on?". It's a very confusing world for young girls, one foot in comic books and the other in 4chan's rejected /rlsh/ board.
One good thing came of that original post, though: Crossfire logged in and showed some serious class. It was frightening! We'd never seen a Cape discuss things in measured, reasonable, and thoughtful terms!
We don't make fun of Crossfire anymore because we know that we'll get a gentleman's ass-whoopin'. :(
Looking forward to seeing who falls under the Lavender Claw next!!!
--Agent B
p.s.
ReplyDeleteI'm so pale I get a sunburn from a 40 watt bulb... but in Jet City we all caffinated albinos, so it doesn't stand out that much. ;)
Thank God you put this out there, a perfect example of what the RLSH females should not look like at all, fairly horrifying if you ask me. Sad thing is, I was into goth girls when I was 15. Now I see why I grew out of that. Never thought I would tell a mildly attractive girl this, but put some fucking clothes on.
ReplyDeleteLavender Leopard,
ReplyDeletethat picture has gotten some Internet currency after all this time. A lesson to us all - the Internet is forever. Still - if you were to apply your sense of style to the predicament she found herself in (one hopes she has changed that outfit to something new?), what would be a good alternative? We see black used a lot (for many obvious reasons), sensible running shoes, etc. Perhaps a logo?
Is one incorrect, or the mirror of fashion we hold up to heroes, cannot be turned back on us - because we too are fashion guilty? (Guilty - right here) Villains favor Trenchcoats, Nehru Jackets, etc but we lack color.
Lastly, has one missed that Nyx and my ArchNemesis Phantom Zero are associated? She'll out Arch me when they break up! Oh no...
-Lord Malignance
Making "I slept in this" look good
she did change
ReplyDelete